Saturday, October 21, 2006

Yellow goo and wishing I was Jesus

How about that? Posting daily is a challenge. I have had some technical issues and some lazy issues. But I won't beat myself up. Thanks to everyone for reading. Please continue to leave comments and e-mail me!

I ordered two eggs over medium with hash browns and he ordered a western burger with fries. It has been a long time since I have eaten at Denny's. I remembered quickly why I used to love eating at Denny's. I have this new love for eggs over medium. I used to gag at the thought of eating that yellow uncooked goo from an egg. But now, I just can't wait to get a piece of toast smothered with jelly and sop that yoke!

While sopping that goo, he (a loved one) said, "I really wish Jesus would intervene!" You see, my loved one has diabetes and it has taken it's toll on him. He's a double amputee, and his eyesight is badly damaged. He expressed his frustration over dinner about not being able to see. He said he would do anything to get his eyesight back. So right there I took some of the goo from the egg and put it over his eyes and said, "In the name of Jesus, open your eyes and see once again!" He opened his eyes, with that yellow goo dripping from his eyes and he shouted, "I once was almost blind, but now I can see!"

That's how I pictured it. That's what I wanted to happen. But instead of that happening, I just sat there sopping my egg and listening him all but in tears talking about his physical struggle. His physical struggles are apparent, but then he went into talking about his spiritual pain. He hasn't been to church in months. He doesn't know what to pray for. He doesn't know if he's praying the right prayer. How do I respond to that?

Now arises the temptation to say, have you read, "Ten keys to effective prayer," or "The Prayer of Jabez," or "The power of a praying husband," or "Too busy not to pray," or some other answer book on prayer or how to achieve spiritual breakthrough. And another temptation arises in me wanting to say, just have faith! You know, if you pray but don't believe that God is going to answer, it's not going to be answered.

When faced with the temptation to respond with a wise answer and say something "spiritual" I responded with... SILENCE! I just kept eating. In my mind, he wasn't asking for spiritual advice, he was asking for his eyesight and although he didn't come out and say it, he wanted his legs back. Was I to respond to him, that's ridiculous to wish for. God can save your soul, but getting your legs back is out of the question. As far as your eyes are concerned, you need to consult your physician. And then it hit me, why shouldn't he ask for his legs back and his sight back? Didn't the people who Jesus healed come asking for physical healing. not all, in fact the majority of those who came to Jesus came with a physical request primarily. Some experience spiritual healing as well but...

Oh I wish I was Jesus... I wish I could have touched my loved one and gave him the menu and said here, read it yourself. I wish I could have touched his thighs and set get up and walk! Oh I wish I was Jesus... I wish I was Jesus, because I would go into that poor family's home and touch there refrigerator and watch it fill up with steak and CHICKEN and fruit and milk. I would touch their furnace and they would have free heat! I wish I was Jesus so I could go to Children's hospital and touch all the sick kids and play a game of freeze tag in the park with them. I wish I was Jesus...

I only have this to go on, Jesus lives in me and maybe I don't have the power to affect nature, or sickness or death, but I have His love and compassion. And somehow, I have got to find a way to love my loved one with the physical disability and overwhelm him with all the love and compassion I have. That will include begging Jehovah to do the impossible. To give him his sight back and his legs back. I wish I was Jesus... No I wish I could be more like Jesus, who opened himself up to listen to God in all circumstances. What I can say at this point is that I am still listening. It took my new found love for the yellow goo that gave me a temporary reason to be silent and not respond so quickly with a prepared answer that would have done nothing to address the pain my loved one was in. I'm still listening and I am resolved to be faithful to God's voice in this.

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Do You Like Me?

Do you remember the first note you gave to that hot girl or boy in your class? You know the one that contains that infamous phrase: Do you like me? In addition there are the three words following the request to circle one. The three words were yes, no and maybe.

Her name was Sonya. She was beautiful, well as beautiful as a 1st grader could be. I did everything I could do to get her to notice me. I put on my older brother's cologne. I made sure I had on my best clothes. I tried to make her laugh. I loved her and I knew I was going to spend the rest of my life with her or at least the rest of the 1st grade. So I mustered up enough strength to pop the question. At home, I got that fat brown pencil without the eraser and a piece of yellow construction paper (I really don't remember the paper type - just stay with me). I wrote as neatly as a 1st grade boy could. I wrote those magical words on the paper:

Sonya
DO YOU LIKE ME?
YES NO MAYBE
LOVE DION

I folded the paper and was determined to give my note to my new found love. The next day I went to school, P.S. #90. I had an extra splashing of my brother's cologne my best shirt and best pair of jeans. I walked into class saw my beauty and... I didn't give her the note. I waited for the right time, and I never gave her the note. I was too chicken to give her the note. I mustered up enough courage to write the note but not enough courage to give her the note. What if she circled no and laughed at me. More than my desire for her to be mine, I had a desire NOT to be disliked. That desire overcame my desire to give Sonya that note!

What it all comes down to is that ever since I was a young child, I had a strong desire for people to like me. This is a desire that has long lived into my adulthood. In the words of the great prophet, Rodney King, "Can't we all just get along!" I had a conversation with a colleague in ministry who shares this desire and struggle. Deep down in our souls, we want people to like us. This can be so debilitating. In my career in "professional" ministry, I have often had to bite my tongue, so people would like me. When I prepare to teach or preach or even lead worship, I often become consumed with wondering what will I say that will make this person or that person not like me. And then I am faced with the reality of God's call. God has not called me to be liked but to be faithful. Nonetheless, I struggle.

When all is said and done, God has called me to ministry. God has called others in the past and their ministry and message was not judged by how well they were liked. The harsh reality is that in most cases, those who God call were hated. Why am I surprised? Jesus said the world hated Him and they would hate us (John 15).

I'm growing and that's what counts. And my existence is not rooted in my being liked by others but being loved by God. As I grow, I can only pray that I will find rest in that Blessed Assurance!

Last night's Menu: Leftover Soup
Tonight's Menu: Meatloaf, Garlic Mash Potatoes and Green Beans With Bacon!

Sunday, October 15, 2006

Cream of Potato Soup with Chicken For The Soul

As usual from start to finish, this was a jammed packed day. Sundays and Wednesdays are the longest days because I am moving non-stop from the early morning deep into the late night. But all in all, I have to admit that most of the time, I enjoy these days! There is something about seeing my church peeps (translation - my brothers and sisters in Christ) that makes me feel alright. I fully accept God's invitation to the community of Christ. Time and time again, I am reminded that to live outside of the community would stink!

My wife Kristy and I have two wonderful children. Kaitlynd and Kyra are simply two funny kids. They are constantly telling jokes and making us laugh. I wonder where they get that from. We are so thankful for these gifts but from time to time, I can't help and and think about the gifts that chose to keep. Kristy had two miscarriages within a span of about 5 months. It was such a time of hurt, pain and anger. I remember yelling at God! I remember thinking what have I done to deserve this. It had to be me, because Kristy is such a saint! She's the most honorable and dedicated woman in my life. Surely if we were being punished, it was because of me. And as much as we were hurting, I couldn't help but reflect on those who were going through the same thing we were going through minus a community. how do people get along in life outside the context of community?

The pain was there... The pain is there... But the pain we have is shared in our Christ community. I thank God for community and I ache for those who go through pain without a Christ community. From time to time, we don't see eye to eye in our Christ community, but at least there are other sets of eyes. There were other sets of eyes to cry with. There were other sets of eyes to look us in the eye and tell us of similar pains they experience. There were other sets of eyes that stared at us and listened to our story. Thank God for the community.

I may never know every answer in this journey with Christ. I do however think it will be more fun searching for answers and understanding in community. I will continue to celebrate my invitation by God into community with him and other believers. I will also pray we will spend more time inviting those without a community of their own into the Christ community!

Tonight's Menu: Homemade Cream of Potato Soup With Chicken

Saturday, October 14, 2006

Saturday Night Life

On a typical Saturday night, I would be running around crazy trying to solidify everything for Sunday. This includes making sure my sermons good to go, making sure my class is ready to go, making sure I'll be able to find socks that match. I am telling you the truth, there is a sock-napper in our house. My mind is so focused on Sunday, that I often to get to sleep until around 3:00 in the morning. I usually wake up at about 5:30-6:00 AM. You do the math, not much sleep! But tonight it's different.

I made sure that I completed all that I need to yesterday. When I got home yesterday, it was complete family time. We (the family and I) went to Longhorn Steakhouse, where I enjoyed a succulent T-Bone Steak with asparagus. We returned home and watched TV together and went to bed early. That felt so good!

This morning I woke up and helped the girls clean their room. We went to Cracker Barrel for a late breakfast (eggs over medium, bacon and apple covered pancakes). I watch a little football and we capped the day by going to a church member's house for a Harvest Party complete with a wiener roast, hay ride and smores!

We just returned home not to long ago and I am ready for bed, early! I will probably have a late night cup of tea, read a few pages in this book I'm reading and end my night by reading my text for tomorrow and talk to God for a bit. All in all, a pretty boring but refreshing day. And for this week, that;s my Saturday Night Life!

You may have wondered why the title, "Christ, Church and Chicken". Well if you know me, you know my life is dominated with Christ in the context of Church. Furthermore if you know me, you know I love chicken! I mean, I will destroy a piece of Chicken. You can bake it, fry it, saute it, broil it, barbecue it. There's chicken soup, chicken Marsala, cashew chicken, poppy seed chicken,, stuffed Chicken, KFC Chicken, Boston Market Chicken, Popeye Chicken, Chicken wings with Buffalo sauce... I love Chicken. Although this may sound cheesy (I love Chicken Parmesan, marinara sauce with lots of mozzarella Cheese), when I think of food, I think of family. I think about my Mom's chicken. I think about my dad eating chicken. Eating with family and friends is definitely my favorite pastime. It's no surprise to me that one of the marks of the early church was the frequency of eating meals together. I think my love for cooking can be directly tied to my desire to eat with people and enjoy all the things that come with eating together like conversation, laughter and story telling!

So stay tuned to my rants, thoughts and recipes! god Bless!

Tonight's Menu: Wiener Roast Potluck With All The fixins'

Friday, October 13, 2006

Here I Go!

Call me the absent-minded professor or a procrastinator or a scatter brain or lazy or forgetful or undisciplined or unorganized or... I guess you get the point. My life in many ways has been defined as a life of being wired and careless at the same time. Surprisingly I am not really that interested in becoming more organized, less of a scatter brain or less forgetful. O.K. maybe I do desire to be a little less forgetful, I'll have to up my doses of Ginko Bolba or Ginka Balboa - whatever! But I do have a strong desire to become more disciplined.

In fact, there was a time that I had a very disciplined spiritual life and that has fallen by the wayside. I mean there are only 24 hours in the day and most of those hours are spent being a father & husband (translation: Taxi-cab; cook; lover; understander; listener; decoder; disciplinarian; tutor; entertainer; guider and like Bush - "The Decider!"), and a "professional" minister (translation: Secretary, pastor, media consultant, gopher, perfect christian, guru, sage, the great example, preacher, youth minister, search and rescue!). I find myself not being able to stick to routine or when I seem to be on a routine, my mind wanders to something else in the evolving circumstances of the day.

Call me crazy (everyone else does!) but I have decided to blog to bring me back to routine. I have decided to blog daily. now trust me, having said that, there might not be another post for three weeks! Because just as soon as I began my journey down this routine, my mind will wander off to something else. But "I gotta do something!"

My entrance into the blog culture will hopefully help me in two ways. One, I want to get on a routine that will call for me to be committed to something voluntarily. I don't have to blog so there will be a great temptation for me to just not do it, like exercise. Secondly, I need a place to mentally release, share and vent. I am very protective of my thoughts and feelings and although this is a risky place to express, "I gotta do something!"

I think what it all comes down to is that because my life has been defined as being wired, I feel so pressured to "do something" That's probably why I don't get many things done, because I'm trying to do so much. I'm busy! Jesus was busy too. So busy that he often took time to rest with God (See The Gospel of Luke 5:16). I was reminded when reading a friend's blog that sometimes, we just have to "BE STILL" I know I am "Be Still" challenged because I am so wired, but nonetheless, I feel called to rest and Be Still! What I will not do is conclude that closeness to God is defined by how much rest I get. Instead, I am determined to grow in the understanding that my activity or inactivity doesn't draw me close to Him. Instead it is His working to draw close to meet and He is willing to meet me in the quietness or the noise! So whether I am still or active, I desire more an awareness of his Presence!

Tonight's Menu: Longhorn's Steakhouse!